Agony
by Snow-Redd
Summary: Various, unrelated stories about Christian and Lissa, together and apart. Done for 30 Angsts at Livejournal.
1. Curiosity

Curiosity

It was curiosity that led Lissa to Christian. She knew he was trouble; she knew of his snark and his temper. But she wanted to know what was behind all of that. Lissa wanted to know what was behind his façade of coolness. She knew there was more to him than he let on. There was something dark and unsettling in his icy blue eyes…

He may have been a loner, but he had a strong presence. He was not the type of person to put himself in the spotlight, but that still didn't make him stand out less. It didn't stop Lissa from noticing him.

Lissa felt drawn to him. She felt drawn to his mystery. She ignored what others thought about him. They warned her. And it is well-known that curiosity killed the cat.


	2. Killing For The Sake Of Killing

Killing For The Sake Of Killing

Christian's Point Of View

It kills me to know what became of my parents. They became monsters. They kill for the sake of killing. And that, to me, is unforgivable. And what I hate almost as much is that people expect me to be just like them. They hear my name, and they judge me based on that. I'd like to see one of them be in my place for a day, facing so much disdain because of who their parents are. Being despised because of something they didn't do.

But, to be honest, I'm scared that I might not be so different from the image people have created of me. I have times when I let my temper take control over me. I even set a guy on fire once. I'm pretty good at keeping my cool, but whenever I lose it, it's pretty scary. And it only proves what my accusers think. It proves I have the capability to kill.


	3. Seeing You And The Other

Seeing You And The Other

Christian's Point Of View

I see Lissa with her best friend, Rose, and I feel the stupidest, most pitiful feeling in the world.

I feel envy.

Lissa and Rose have a rare and special bond. A bond that I can never be a part of. If only _I_ can have that kind of connection with Lissa. But I know that will never be.

Because of the bond, Rose will always be Lissa's top priority. I'll never be able to be there for Lissa on the same level that Rose can. I envy the connection, knowing it is something I can never have.

Lissa may not know it, or be willing to admit it, but she belongs to Rose more than she will ever belong to me. It's just the way it is. They will always have their bond. A bond that is to0 strong to ever break.


	4. You Are Never Here For Once

You Are Never Here For Once

Lissa sat in the lonely chapel, trying to hold back her tears. But she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face, no matter how much she attempted to. Christian wasn't there with her. She knew something had to be terrible wrong because Christian was _always_ there. It was simply abnormal for him to not show up.

Christian was the one person she could talk freely to. She didn't have to worry about him overreacting. She didn't have to worry about him judging her. He was someone to rely on. Lissa only wanted someone to just listen to her, and Christian gave her just that. Lissa sighed and wondered if she was wrong about him, if she overestimated their friendship.

She felt as empty as the chapel she was sitting in.


	5. Engulfed By Darkness

Engulfed By Darkness

Lissa's hand trembled as she brought the knife to her arm. She was sobbing uncontrollably. She didn't feel like herself anymore; she didn't feel like the princess Lissa, with friends who love her. All she felt was paranoia, sorrow, and insanity.

Lissa was prone to depression and moments of madness, but she always held on before. There was always a glimmer of hope that told Lissa that life was, in fact, worth living despite the pain. The hope wasn't there anymore. This time, the darkness had taken over her. It was constantly there in the back of her mind, threatening to break lose and consume her. She persistantly fought to keep it under control, but it finally won. Lissa cried, realizing how weak she was.

She pierced the flesh of her upper arm. Beads of red formed as she worked her way down until she made a perfectly straight line of blood.


	6. You Belong To No One

You Belong To No One

Lissa's Point Of View

"You have gotten too hung up over Christian!" My best friend, Rose exclaimed, "He doesn't own you, you know!"

The words echo over and over in my head. Rose isn't exactly…thrilled that I'm involved with Christian. I forgive her hurtful words because I know she is only trying to protect me, like she always does. But I still find what she said unsettling.

Maybe I am getting too attached. But even if that's true, I can't control my feeling about Christian. I _could_ ignore them, but that would just make me feel worse.

I've always been the cautious one, but now I am taking a huge risk with Christian. I'm making myself completely vulnerable for him. I'm probably only setting myself up to be left down.

_I believe in you, Christian. Don't let me down._

I say that repeatedly to myself, trying to have faith.


	7. Disguise

Disguise

Lissa's Point Of View

I chat with the other royals, plaster a smile on my face, and act pleasant. But it is all just a disguise. I have never felt more fake in my life. I don't _genuinely _like these people. I would rather be around people that are real, like Rose and Christian. But, as a royal, I have to appease all the other royals.

It's not that I'm bad at it. I'm actually very good at charming the other royals. I'm charismatic around them. I don't even need to use compulsion to get them to like me. They fall for my charade.

Behind my smiling face, I feel sickened with these people. They're fake. They belittle others and act like they're more worthy than non-royals. I'm royal, but I don't act like that. Somehow I turned out differently. Thank God.

And they have no idea what I'm really thinking, for I'm so skilled at hiding my true self behind a mask.


End file.
